I’ve had muffs on my mind recently. That’s not a statement that I often come out with but, in this instance, it’s both true and relevant. A friend of mine recently thrust a copy of Caitlin Moran’s book in my direction to convince me that I was, in fact, a feminist (it worked by the way and I highly recommend you read it if you haven’t already, but that’s a different story). In her book, Caitlin talks about the pressure on women to keep their body hair in check and this is a topic that we have since discussed thoroughly over tea and biscuits.
On Friday I read about UK Feminista’s Muff March which looked to be a great, fun way to protest against ‘designer vaginas’ and to highlight the worries many women have about how they look ‘down there’ and how they compare to other women. The porn industry depicts the norm to be hair-free, vaginoplastied and unrealistic. Even women who realise that that isn’t normal can be concerned that their men do not. So, hurrah to UK Feminista for bringing that taboo body-confidence issue into the spotlight this weekend.
So, where do pants come in to it? Well, I turned on my TV this morning and saw Gok Wan cutting up a poor woman’s cotton pants and exclaiming that she needed to be more adventurous with her underwear – WHAT? I’m not ashamed to announce that I wear cotton pants. That’s right, everyone, I wear plain, simple, comfortable knickers and I’m proud of it! The thrush-inducing lacy synthetics that Gok was waving about later in the show looked horribly uncomfortable and they certainly wouldn’t have any place in my top drawer!
Was this supposed to be some sort of public service announcement from E4 to all the wearers of cotton pants? “LADIES, CUT UP YOUR PANTS! Because you know what you need on that shaving rash? Some sequins.”
It’s bad enough that women have already been convinced that they need flat tummies, round breasts and a cellulite-free bum before they can even consider leaving the house in a morning. With all this focus on muffs and pants at the moment, isn’t it about time we take a step back and get our hands off each other’s bits? Let’s pop our cotton pants back on and give our privates some privacy!